Queen Of Dirt

I will be updating regularly again. Apparently some people actually care. Thank You.

(I couldn’t resist the title, they looked straight out of Madame Tussauds at a recent event)

Angelina and Co. have made plans to flee the States for good. (I’ve been wondering when that was going to happen). They recently purchased a $60 million estate in the South of France. The 1,000 acre estate features 35 bedrooms, two swimming pools, two gyms, 20 fountains, a vineyard, a lake and even  a moat.

  So basically they bought a castle in which to train raise their army children.

Demi Moore  Ali Lohan was on Letterman last night promoting her awesome new reality show and spectacular dog babysitting services… Before you watch this clip, let me remind you she is in EIGTH GRADE!

Looking that old, with that voice, at that age…I smell trouble, probably in the form of a restraining order against a creepy Lolita-lover.

Heidi and Spencer

…fake-pose for another vomit-inducing photo shoot. This time, for Mother’s Day. The shocking part isn’t that they once again used a National Holiday as a stupid, fake set-up to get their mugs everywhere, but that Shock!!! It is her actual mom. They did something real! God, why am I feeding the fire for these tools?
P.S. Spencer really creeps me out.

Angelina Jolie

…confirms she is having twins. In case you are keeping count, thats two more to add to her multicultural children of 4 that will one day take over the world. They are building an Army.
An incredibly beautiful army.

Pete and Amy

…spread their junkie love. Really. What can even be said about this picture?
It should be used as anti-drug propoganda everywhere. That would fix the war on drugs quicker than any Colombia smackdown would.
Shudder.

Jessica and Tony

…possibly call it quits. Or rather, Tony is fed up with her stupidity and realized he could actually get a hot rich chick with brains.

So they are saying…

Tony Romo went buck wild this weekend in Chicago and reports are coming in that he decided to get plastered and break up with Jessica Simpson - without telling her. These Boots are Made For Stalking broke the story after one of Tony’s friends informed them the Dallas quarterback was all over the ladies. The Superficial received an e-mail from an anonymous source that jives with Tony’s buddies’ tales and offers some more dirt on his night out. Here’s the exclusive details:

Tony Romo was in town, and he was bar hopping with some buddies of his from Chicago. He had the nerve to put Jessica on speakerphone and talk about their sex life with all his guys listening and laughing at her. Not only is this girl dumb, but she is completely self conscious about her bedroom skills. After a few too many drinks, he told everyone he and Jessica are over. They are taking a “break.” He could never see himself being serious and marrying this girl. He’s just having fun with her. It’s funny everyone is talking about them getting married when they are completely over. Sorry Jessica, Tony had his fun with you, and now is on to bigger and better things.

Okay, I’m not sure if I take it back. He could still be a douche (I don’t know. Maybe. Maybe Not.) But either case, if he is, at least he is a funny douche.

This clip he made for Funny or Die is pretty damn hilarious. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if this was actually an exaggerated version of his real songwriting process. But Yeah…it’d still be funny.

http://Makin’ Music with John Mayer on FunnyOrDie.com

Amy Winehouse

Who are we kidding? This girl has enough “Hot Mess” material to fit this bill every week.

Amy was arrested by appointment on Wednesday for that video of her smoking crack which was released by The Sun back in January. Originally questioned about the tape in February, she was asked to return to the police station Wednesday and proceeded to be interviewed, arrested and then released on bail.

How did she celebrate her release? By a casual 4 a.m. stroll for magazines and junk food of course. At least she paid for them this time. Hey, you know who else wanders around the streets at 4 a.m.? Other junkies. At least she was in good company.

She”ll be back soon I’m sure. And not for another “appointment”, another slipup is going to happen eventually. And by eventually, I mean any day now.

Crackheads don’t learn. Just ask Pete Doherty.

Juliette Lewis

“Juliette, Juliette, where are thou fair– Oh God! Bloody hell!!”

What happened to Juliette Lewis?! Can someone please tell me that? The hot, oscar-nominated actress who once dated Brad Pitt has been replaced by some Close Encounters of The Third Kind version of her former self that apparently doesn’t eat, wash her hair and thinks her hoo-ha can do the singing for her.

Moral of the story? No one says they want to be a junkie when they grow up. Drugs are BAD kids.

First Marilyn. Now Jimi.

Vivid Entertainment is releasing a 45-minute DVD purporting to be a sex tape of Jimi Hendrix, and from the description, it sounds like the tape is definitely maybe Hendrix. Or an impersonator. Or, y’know, some dude who has an Afro and rings on his fingers.

As the New York Times describes it: “The film shows a naked man who resembles Hendrix, the guitar legend who died in 1970, wearing a bandanna in his Afro, having sex with two brunettes in a dimly lighted bedroom. His full face appears on screen for only a few seconds, with his eyes closed. In other portions there are flashes of his profile. But his hands, bedecked with rings, roam large on the screen at times. The film has no audio.”

From Idolator

And by lottery, I mean Jen Aniston. And by hit, I mean business time.

I have been trying to figure out the je ne sais pas quality that he posseses that lures hot women to him like flies to a Venus Fly Trap but I just haven’t been able to figure it out yet. Sure he’s attractive and seems funny and has one or two songs I can tolerate but he also seems like a total douche and really??? A guy who can’t perform without making a series of O-face-meets-colonoscopy? And he dated Jessica Simpson.

I could never take a guy seriously who dated Jessica Simpson.

I mean, did you see Nick and Jessica: Newlyweds? Cause I did.

MSNBC is reporting that Ryan Seacrest is in talks to replace Larry King on “Larry King Live” around year’s end. King told The New York Times in April 2007 that Seacrest would be his first choice to take over the show when the time came.

So we can add yet another Talk Show Host gig to his resume of American Idol Host, Radio personality, Red Carpet Host, Emmy Host, E! News Anchor, television show(s) producer, and the Crest Toothpaste spokeswhore. Have I left something out? (Probably).

Geez. And here I thought Brangelina and their multi-cultural babies were everywhere. Slackers.

Somewhere in Illinois, the neighborhood watch is going crazy…

Why is it that everytime Matt Damon has a super-serious/anything-to-do-with-the-government role he takes that to mean “grow really creepy facial hair, don glasses and try to perfect that perv-next-door” look? Seriously, he looks like a Child Molester/Serial Killer combo. I kinda feel bad for his wife. She married Good Will Hunting and got Mr.Spalding…

Matt is sporting this incredibly hot look for his role in The Informant, a true story about a a man called Mark Whitacre (Damon) who was part of the lysine price-fixing conspiracy that took place back in the mid-1990s. Its shooting in Decatur, Illinois.